mixed emotions

I had my 13 week ultrasound yesterday and found out that this pregnancy started out as twins. I'm having very mixed emotions about it....I know that the last thing in the world we needed would be twins, but it still hurts to know that we lost another baby. I'm also very happyt hat we have a healthy happy baby cooking in there, but sad for losing one. Life sometimes seems like such an oxy-moron.

Krista

Do you have a life? I've seen 97 so far

December 20, 2008

How many have you seen
SUPPOSEDLY if you've seen over 85 films, you have no life. Mark the ones you've seen. There are 239 films on this list. Copy this list, go to your own facebook account, paste this as a note. Then, put x's next to the films you've seen, add them up, change the header adding your number, and click post at the bottom. Have fun.
(x) Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) Grease
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest
() Boondock Saints
() Fight Club
() Starsky and Hutch
(x) Neverending Story
() Blazing Saddles
(x) AirplaneTotal
(x) The Princess Bride
() Anchorman
(x) Napoleon Dynamite
() Labyrinth
() Saw
() Saw II
() White Noise
() White Oleander
(x) Anger Management
(x) 50 First Dates
(x) The Princess Diaries
(x) The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
(x) Scream
(x) Scream 2
(x) Scream 3
(x) Scary Movie
(x) Scary Movie 2
(x) Scary Movie 3
() Scary Movie 4
(x) American Pie
(x) American Pie 2
() American Wedding
() American Pie Band Camp
() Harry Potter 1
() Harry Potter 2
() Harry Potter 3
() Harry Potter 4
() Resident Evil 1
() Resident Evil 2
(x) The Wedding Singer
() Little Black Book
() The Village
(x) Lilo & Stitch
(x) Finding Nemo
() Finding Neverland
() Signs
(x) The Grinch
() Texas Chainsaw Massacre
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
( ) White Chicks
() Butterfly Effect
(x) 13 Going on 30
() I, Robot
() Robots
(x) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
(x) Universal Soldier
() Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
(x) Along Came Polly
(x) Deep Impact
(x) KingPin
(x ) Never Been Kissed
(x) Meet The Parents
(x) Meet the Fockers
( ) Eight Crazy Nights
(x) Joe Dirt
() KING KONG
(x ) A Cinderella Story
( ) The Terminal
( ) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
( ) Passport to Paris
(x) Dumb & Dumber
(x) Dumber & Dumberer
(x) Final Destination
(x) Final Destination 2
() Final Destination 3
() Halloween
() The Ring
() The Ring 2
( ) Surviving X-MAS
(x) Flubber
() Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
(x) Practical Magic
(x) Chicago
() Ghost Ship
() From Hell
() Hellboy
() Secret Window
(x) I Am Sam
(x) The Whole Nine Yards
() The Whole Ten Yards
() The Day After Tomorrow
(x) Child's Play
() Seed of Chucky
( ) Bride of Chucky
(x) Ten Things I Hate About You
(x) Just Married
() Gothika
() Nightmare on Elm Street
(x) Sixteen Candles
(x) Remember the Titans
( ) Coach Carter
() The Grudge
( ) The Grudge 2
(x) The Mask
( ) Son Of The Mask
() Bad Boys
() Bad Boys 2
(x ) Joy Ride
() Lucky Number Slevin
() Ocean's Eleven
() Ocean's Twelve
(x) Bourne Identity
(x) Bourne Supremecy
( ) Lone Star
() Bedazzled
() Predator I
() Predator II
() The Fog
(x) Ice Age
() Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
(x) Curious George
(x) Independence Day
() Cujo
() A Bronx Tale
( ) Darkness Falls
(x) Christine
(x) ET
() Children of the Corn
( ) My Bosses Daughter
(x) Maid in Manhattan
() War of the Worlds
(x) Rush Hour
(x) Rush Hour 2Total so far: 82
( ) Best Bt
(x) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
(x) She's All That
(x) Calendar Girls
() Sideways
() Mars Attacks
() Event Horizon
(x) Ever After
(x) Wizard of Oz
(x) Forrest Gump
() Big Trouble in Little China
() The Terminator
() The Terminator 2
() The Terminator 3
() X-Men
() X-2
() X-3
(x) Spider-Man
(x) Spider-Man 2
() Sky High
() Jeepers Creepers
( ) Jeepers Creepers 2
(x) Catch Me If You Can
(x) The Little Mermaid
(x ) Freaky Friday
() Reign of Fire
() The Skulls
() Cruel Intentions
() Cruel Intentions 2
( ) The Hot Chick
(x) Shrek
(x) Shrek 2
() Swimfan
(x) Miracle on 34th street
(x) Old School
(x) The Notebook
() K-Pax
(x) Krippendorf's Tribe
(x) A Walk to Remember
(x) Ice Castles
( ) Boogeyman
(x) The 40-year-old Virgin
() Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring
() Lord of the Rings The Two Towers
() Lord of the Rings Return Of the King
(x) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
(x) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
(x) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
(x) Baseketball
() Hostel
( ) Waiting for Guffman
() House of 1000 Corpses
() Devils Rejects
(x) Elf
() Highlander
() Mothman Prophecies
() American History X
( ) Three
Jacket
() Kung Fu Hustle
() Shaolin Soccer
() Night Watch
(x) Monsters Inc.
(x) Titanic
(x) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
() Shaun Of the Dead
( ) Willard
( ) High Tension
() Club Dread
() Hulk
( ) Dawn Of the Dead
(x) Hook
() Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
(x) 28 days later
() Orgazmo
() Phantasm
() Waterworld
() Kill Bill vol 1
() Kill Bill vol 2
() Mortal Kombat
( ) Wolf Creek
() Kingdom of Heaven
() the Hills Have Eyes
() I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman
( ) The Last House on the Left
() Re-Animator
() Army of Darkness
() Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
() Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
() Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
() Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
() Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
() Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
( ) Ewoks Caravan Of Courage
( ) Ewoks The Battle For EndorTotal so far: 135
(x) The Matrix
(x) The Matrix Reloaded
() The Matrix Revolutions
() Animatrix
() Evil Dead
() Evil Dead 2
() Team America: World Police
(x) Red Dragon
(x) Silence of the Lambs
(x) Hannibal

Justin's surgery update

Well--for those that didn't realize it because of my poor communication, Justin got tubes put in this morning. He was a bit cranky when he woke up from the anesthetic, but he is wide awake and doing well. He did awesome, let the doctor carry him back to the OR, and didn't even cry before the surgery.

We are going today for an ultra-sound to test for the chrosomal abnormalities for the baby. I'll post ultrasound pictures when I get home this afternoon.

Krista

The word seems to be out.....

Well--I believe that most everyone knows, but just wanted to update things here and make sure everyone stayed as up-to-date as possible.

I am now almost 10 weeks pregnant for baby #3. I am always tempted to say #4, because I still think of Henry every time I talk about being pregnant. I have been on 2 shots/day of blood thinners since immediately after finding out that I was pregnant back in October. I have had one ultra sound and was able to see the peanut's heart beat very clearly---flickering away in there at 160 beats per minute. I go back to my regular doctor for my 12 week ultrasound on December 9 for the Nuchal Fold Translucency test. This is the test where they do the testing for chromosomal abnormalities. I know a lot of people don't believe in having these tests, and it certainly won't change a thing about where I carry this baby or not. I was very thankful to have had this test with Henry because all of the results were normal. After losing him, the doctors immediately suggested that maybe there was a chromosomal abnormality, which I knew wasn't true as a result of this test. That is on December 9 at 11:30 in the morning. I am about 100% certain that this will go well, and have a good feeling about this pregnancy. I said very early on w/Henry that I was concerned and felt like something might go wrong.....I haven't had that feeling at ALL this time around. According to my last ultrasound, I am due on June 29 and the doc said they would likely schedule my c-section for June 15....which works out well as far as timing. Our last teacher work day for school is Friday, June 12, so I would have the weekend off, then deliver the next Monday.

Funny story about Justin. Most of you know that he doesn't forget a single thing that someone tells him. He still asks us about Henry and has even asked in the last few weeks when Henry will be coming to his house to stay. He has no concept of the finality of death, like most children his age. He has asked questions about living in Heaven in very general terms since last December when we told him that Henry had gone to live with Jesus. Tonight he was asking how old you had to be to get to go to heaven to live with Jesus. We explained that there wasn't a certain age, you could go at any time that Jesus needs you there, but that typically, it was people who were very old. (Bear in mindy, this discussion was happening at the dinner table while Mom, Dad, Barney and I ate left-overs and the kids ate their chicken nuggets.) He looked at us with all seriousness and said "You mean you have to be old like Poppi?" He is so funny. My dad is only 59, not terribly old in the grand scheme of things, but apparently Justin doesn't have that same perspective.

Oh, and just in case we see you somewhere, the kids DO NOT know that I am pregnant. We have decided that to try to avoid having to have the discussion about me losing another baby, we just wouldn't tell the kids about me being pregnant until after we know the sex of the baby and thus the name. Our theory on this is that if it would happen to be a boy, it may be easier for Justin to accept and understand if we gave him a name for the babl. Please don't say anything to the kids---Justin just thinks my tummy is getting fatter.

Hey---If you think that people are really researching who the president should be and reading up on their policies....check this out

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGYvW-zPbNk

Krista

My kids are so very funny!!

Okay--so Ada Grace has taken to saying the dinner prayer after learning it at preschool. Well, one of them is the "ABC prayer" which goes like this "A B C D E F G, Thank you God for feeding me." She usually actually sings all the way through the ABC's first and gets to the prayer the 2nd time around. Well, my mom was telling me that the other day when she was getting ready to "feed" her baby doll, she knelt down, crossed her hands and sang hte ABC prayer prior to giving her the bottle.

Justin--well, again, he has learned the Pledge of Allegiance at school. I'm going to have to get it all on video because its too darn cute. He can and does say all of the words right, usually, except for one. Did you all know that the last line was "With liberty and Justin for all".

National Day of Remembrance

Good Evening. My post tonight is pretty somber, but important for me to share. Today is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.

National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day (United States)
October 15 has been proclaimed by the United States Congress as National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day in the United States. Many U. S. state governors have made similar proclamations in the last two years, effectively creating two annual days for the remembrance of infant loss. In general, October 15 is set aside by many states as a day to honor babies who were miscarried, lost as the result of pregnancy complications, or lost as the result of SIDS. In this way, the special case of a stillbirth, the cause of which is quite often unknown, is differentiated from infant losses that have more specifically understood causes.

As you all know, I lost Henry 10 months and 1 day ago today. This time last year I was still in the throes of morning sickness, learning how to give myself shots and all the other wonderfully fun stuff that goes with pregnancy. I was blissfully unaware that there was such a thing as National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. I was, at the time, 100% certain that at this point, October 15, 2008, I would have a 5 1/2 month old baby and our family would be complete. In a lot of ways, I wish that I was still that oblivious to the reality that is pregnancy loss. However, after losing Henry, I have had the opportunity to connect with some people in such a deep and personal way, that I will NEVER forget or take for granted. It is such a deeply personal loss, and for some reason, something that no one, unless they have been through it, seems to discuss. We received more cards than I could count that said "I know how it feels, unfortunately, I have been there. Please let me know if you need anything." Why is it, that such a HORRIBLE experience is so cloaked in secrecy?

If you know anyone who has ever lost a pregnancy, or an infant due to SIDS, please take a moment to remember the baby, as well as the parents who had to say goodbye to that precious baby. As I read in the blog of another woman who lost her baby not long after I lost Henry, this is NOT a day of mourning, but a day of remembrance. On this day, I choose to remember the few times I felt the miracle of Henry kicking me from the inside. I choose to remember that he had his daddy's eyes and chin. I choose to remember his 10 perfect fingers and 10 perfect toes. I choose to remember every single second that I got to hold my little "quarter-pounder", even though it was after he had gone to live with Jesus.